OS: Bloom

bloom

In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you.

When Arnav was on the edge of seventeen, he had fallen in love – well, as much of love as you could be, when you were seventeen, anyway. It made his heart beat faster, pulse jerk and, the chemistry had been pure dynamite. It went as teen love inevitably and often does, by the way of time and tide. However, that brief pocket of time he had with the Sri Lankan girl, stolen away, on heather-strewn Scottish hills had been as close to perfect as it could have been, in those days. When they had graduated, Tharushi had gone back to Kandy, where she had been originally from. Arnav had come back to Delhi for a brief period, and neither had put too much stock by it. Summer love, after all. Life had gone on at its own pace, but Arnav had thought about Tharushi – time and again. It hadn’t been with that burning passion you associate with a deep, passionate and abiding love. Arnav had been well and truly certain by then, that he had passed that stage of his life. Rather, he thought of her like you did when you missed out an opportunity you didn’t quite know if you wanted or not – with a wistfulness. He thought of her time, and again. It was that odd, sweet feeling of remembering, at the strangest of moments. Arnav hadn’t put too much by it, at first. He had grown up with her, since they were seven – that created a bond like no other, even if you didn’t like a person all that much, he had reasoned. She had been the first girl he had slept with and you didn’t forget your first, either. Then her wedding invitation had come, as it had gone out, all over the world to old friends. Arnav hadn’t been precisely heartbroken – as one would think he would have been, but there had been this tiny prick of a bittersweet pain of what-ifs. Nevertheless, he had gone to the wedding, attended it for the whole four days and watched as her eyes twinkled as his had, as old memories collided and, then, became absorbed by friendship older than it all. Arnav had a grand time meeting old friends – reliving memories and incidents. When he had gone back home, the memories stayed, as did the hollowness, although there had been no pain to go along with it. It had been as if he had stood at the edge of something big, and then, at the last moment, had taken a step back, instead of leaping in. The dissatisfactionΒ of it dogged him in the strangest, loneliestΒ moments.

Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can’t get out.

That feeling had nagged him, while he had been in relationships – some with women he had liked, some with women he couldn’t quite recall later on. It had even been present at the beginning of his most serious relationship that even rolled into a promise of marriage (even if it had been, for all the wrong reasons). It had been another thing he had felt he should be sorry for. Lavanya had deserved so much better than him. That feeling at that point had evolved beyond Tharushi. The memories of the sweet first love, stayed in the gold tipped shoebox one stored their treasured memories in, but, that feeling of emptiness, of missing out on something big had haunted him, steadily getting a little stronger as time went on. He had even met Tharushi multiple times during those times, and he had always been happy to see his old friend but he had realized, this feeling of urgency had very little to do with her. It had been a state of mind he couldn’t escape even if had tried. It was as if, he was waiting for something wonderful. Arnav had felt frustrated, and short of temper all around and those in his vicinity had felt the full lash of his temper, with the smallest things – then, somehow, through twists and turns of fate, he had ended up with an appealing armful of woman, and once he had looked into her eyes, it had happened.Β He had been thrown off the cliff he had stood on once before, back when he had been seventeen. The only difference was, he had been able to step back when he was seventeen, but at the age of twenty-seven, he had fallen before he could catch himself. It had been like a rollercoaster – Arnav had once read once; a great rollercoaster made you find God when you ride it. He still wasn’t sure he found his, but he had discovered an array of emotions he hadn’t known he could even feel – all because of an eighteen years old with eyes that stared into forever.

Can I take you to a moment
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?

Someday, he would tell her about Tharushi and the almost love he had felt for her at the edge of seventeen among purple heathers, and the smoky fogs of the highlands. It was a love that didn’t compare to what he felt for the woman in whom his heart slipped into, the moment she fell in his arms the first time, but it was what had prepared him for her. Arnav was reasonably sure Khushi wouldn’t mind as much – she was, for all her dramatics, a very reasonable person. Would Arnav be able to be as reasonable, if she told him about her own edge of seventeen story? Perhaps not. Then again, when had Khushi had that opportunity to enjoy those little pleasures he had taken for granted? Her’s would be the story of the year she turned nineteen that spanned so much; both good and bad, for them to end up together. Arnav, in his weakest moments, wished she had memories like his too. Sweet ones, instead of the difficult ones that he had started her off on. Then, he had to remind himself – there was just now. That’s all he could give her, and so he would. He had gently run his fingers over his sleeping wife’s face. Wasn’t she lovely? Wasn’t she wonderful? No wonder, he hadn’t been able to leap off that metaphorical cliff before. He had been waiting for her.

When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you.

Those hazels eyes had opened, twinkling with a laughter that seemed to be at the core of who she was. “I can hear you thinking, you know, Arnavji?” her lips her stretched into the sweetest smile. “Shouldn’t you turn it off when you are home, at least? It’s 1 in the morning and sane people often sleep during this time” she had smiled more, cheeks flushed with laughter. Arnav had been dazzled, again. He didn’t see it stopping anytime in their lives together. He wasn’t sure he wanted it to. “I had lost whatever sanity I had left, after my third anniversary,” he had quipped. Her eyes had sparkled some more, anticipating a verbal sparring. “Let Aarav grow up a little, Arnavji. I will tell him these horrible blames you saddle me with, every day. At least he would understand his poor old mother’s sufferings,” Arnav had burst out laughing. Pulling his something wonderful, close to him, he had snuggled in. “Maybe he would agree with me too,” she had opened her mouth, outraged at the suggestion. Arnav had taken full advantage of it, to their mutual satisfaction. Then, her eyes had twinkled and lips had been rosy, and those cheeks flushed some more. “It’s not fair how you always win these arguments, Arnavji,” she had complained, cuddling to his side. “Who said I win?” he had smiled, and closed his eyes, content.

Can I be close to you?

Author’s note: I am back! Literally. I just came back couple of hours ago. I’m exhausted but the song kept playing on my mind so I knew it was time for a short OS. Isn’t it surprising how some people prepare us for the future? I know your first love shape how you look at your future partner – but surprisingly, they have nothing to do with your one and only πŸ™‚ Little odd thoughts. Forgive me if they sound like ramblings. I am pretty exhausted, too. Hope you liked it.

NB: Bloom by The Paper Kites

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101 thoughts on “OS: Bloom

    • i never really went away πŸ˜› Just haven’t written anything since christmas, that’s all πŸ˜› Hi πŸ™‚ Also, thank you so much for the kind words and, for taking the time to read πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I can so relate to this…!!
    At 17 i thought i loved and now at 23 i wonder what it is…?
    But the feel to be loved is there.. Your first one always sets certain dreams of your future…!!
    What a beautiful start to my day di… loved it… how can u write so beautiful when ua exhausted..?
    Hope u had a wonderful start to new year.. A very hapie new year to you… Pleasee write more soon…😘😘😘😘

    Like

    • there’s no explaining love at any age, is there? But yes, i find that your first love, good or bad will set off the course of your romantic life. I am so glad you liked it Sweetyperu ❀ I had a wonderful new year thank you! I hope yours was better. I'll try to write but things keep me a little busy πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. happy new year!your back!big jig from me and a hug!missed you!hope you had a great new year!i cant seem to say much as this was like an insight into arnavs thoughts,well you love these age gaps of theirs dont you!it reflects in some of your best pieces!!!i love them,i dont have much clue about past loves or such but taking that subtle and impressionable experience into another dimension and conveying his depth of emotions and what could have been at a ceratin age a long time ago and showing the same person embracing the new present with warm smiles and fond,memories is something which he thought was true love and affection yet not belittling a past love was amzingly understood with this!usually you have this amazing knack to convey feelings with a short tale ,i wont call these ramblings certainly,its an insight into a person s thoughts when they experience bouts of lonliness or even a couple of minutes of silence which has the power to bring out the most cherished experiences one experiences in the form of a film in front on their eyes and thats when a sense of persceptive is usually got on some thoughts you never found answers to and a lot of what ifs…!!!i loved it you always make me reflect more on these amzing emotions…b this was another amzing tale!!love d

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    • haha! Happy new year to you, too D! I don’t know if I love the age gap but, the truth is, it is there. There was an Arnav who lived a full life before Khushi came along. She, fortunately, or unfortunately wasn’t afforded the same luxury – simply because Khushi had been 18 when she met him. But a heart know, huh? πŸ™‚ I love how you put it – affection for a past love. Shouldn’t it be the way? Why should love go away, or why should the affection you feel for the person go away simply because you changed and fell out of love with them? I try to build on little memories. I don’t know how effective I am at it, but all roads do lead to Rome and Arnav was brought to Khushi, simply because of the man he was, who grew from his experiences. Why not celebrate them too? πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for reading the stories D ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello.. i m new to your blog.. i discovered this via jigs blog.. & must say though your os r single piece they do tell whole story.. first crush or affection or love is alwayz a wonderful feeling.. it gives u a glimpse of wat it would feel like when d feeling will b tenfold.. which is tantalizing. & a person waits for that, hope for that.. when u finally achieve it u r thrown off d cliff.. i personally liked d age gap between arnav & khushi. It gives an edge to d story..
    Well i have read your blog in a single day.. such captivating is your writing. Thank u for that..

    Like

    • hi! Welcome to my blog and i have to thank Jigs for this πŸ™‚ I am really glad you are enjoying the Os. They are my favorites too! πŸ™‚ I didn’t really extend their age gap – just used the same one they used in the show πŸ™‚ But yes, that means he’s already lived a pretty full life while she was just starting off. What a way to fall off a cliff, huh? πŸ™‚

      Like

      • I read your ff also.. one of d few ones i read with so many chapters.. other than u i can tell only one story with so many chapters which i liked.. its on IF- u r my new dream, i think thats d name.. anyways coming to your story i really liked d slow burn between arnav & khushi.. its like watching a mini series.. u want lead couple to unite from very 1st day but it doesn’t happen till mid series..

        Actually i m in awe of u all writers.. i m avid book reader.. i m also into fanfiction on book realted characters but i never thought something like this happen for our desi serial.. but u all make that happen.. evey single scene has been given different version but every single one unique.. even alternative universe with same characters is mind blowing..

        I somehow liked this age gap..& its a brilliant way to go off d cliff.. he has lived a whole life but still land in uncharted territory & she just started but got on d path which many doesn’t face in their whole life..

        Like

      • Thank you so much for that P. We write Fanfictions because of our love for the characters. That I guess is pretty universal, huh? πŸ™‚
        I am glad you like GWP. It’s my first story and it means a lot to me too.
        I haven’t changed the age gap though – it’s the same as it was in the serial. Khushi was 18 going on 19, when Arnav was 27. I based the age difference on that. Falling off that metaphorical cliff is scary, whether you are 19 or 29 but once you are there, with your partner – nothing greater than that. πŸ™‚

        Like

  4. “Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, some for good or bad, some may shape us, or break us, but in the end they make us who we are.”

    Bingla your OS reminded me of the above quote and my first love.

    Like

  5. Your Arnav and Khushi are so unique and still have their original essence! That’s why I enjoy them so much. And I am literally in love with your evocative language!!
    Welcome back!!
    Can we expect a closure of Games we play any time soon Please?? Stalking it for so lone now πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • that is so nice of you to say! Thank you. As for GWP, i swear i’m not being a diva when I say, that takes longer to write than the OS(s) which I can pen in half an hour – and often, that’s all the time I have left to spare for me. How about I say, soon?

      Like

  6. Wonderful read. As the saying goes, you wont love another if the one you are with is your true love. I feel sad but like you have pointed out “It went as teen love inevitably and often does, by the way of time and tide.” Maybe the lack of maturity or the lack of depth in understanding oneself. I loved that you wrote from Arnav’s perspective, his emotions and feelings. So many times in the show I wished they showed what he was feeling maybe through voice overs. That you have dealt with it makes it a special read. Thank you and wish you a happy and healthy new year ahead.

    Like

    • i think I used that line, because I thought of my very own first love. We were two kids from Bangladesh, displaced in a different country at the edge of 18 (haha). It was a wonderful time, that went with time and tide πŸ™‚ He’s still a friend and I believe I am still one to him. So maybe, this is based a little on him πŸ™‚ I am glad you liked it. Wishing you a happy new year too!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. The one shots which solely focus on Arnav have a habit of stealing bits of my heart. There is a wonderfully whimsical lilt to this particular piece, holding on and letting go to something elusive only to learn how to treasure a gem when she fell his way.

    It was beautiful, wonderful, and all things pleasant.

    More than everything though, a smile bloomed in this heart and your Khushi tickled away the last little parts of me. How she completes her man, fills me with great wonderment and pride.

    Brilliant as always my lovely xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Your comments have a way of stealing mine ❀ I say, we are about square.
      Thank you so much P. It has been so long, but I had been meaning to reply to this lovely, lovely message. I wanted to tell you that I am overwhelmed and so grateful.
      I am glad this made you smile πŸ™‚
      Loads of love.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. B…how incredibly heartwarming is this story! I loved it!

    It is so true that some people may not be ‘the one’ or anyone significant in our lives in the final analysis, but our shared moments with them change who we are, what we believe in, what we become, how we see the world…and it is those moments & the impressions they leave behind that influence events or decisions of the future.

    I *love* your stories of Arnav & the way you describe his thoughts, feelings, the story & characters, their relationships that have evolved over time…usually through someone’s eyes. I love that style of narration. The characters themselves are so lovable!

    Love it, love it! 😘

    Like

    • B! Long time! πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much for seeing what I saw too. Yes, first loves, and almost loves leave a lasting mark on us, don’t they? Doesn’t mean we can’t love again but we do love differently πŸ™‚
      I write from a third person’s point of view because often, I am the third person. I admire those who jump right in and write from a first person’s point of view but unfortunately, I suck at that.
      Thank you for loving my characters ❀ But, they do stem from very lovable sources too!

      Like

  9. This was beautiful, wonderful, sweet and very very heartwarming!!! Absolutely loved to read about about Arnav’s teenage years and how he now relates them to his Khushi.
    Such a blissful joy to read your stories Nabi!

    Liked by 1 person

    • My favorite, beloved Sri!
      I think I always tell you this but I still have to, again – you always find the RIGHT gif for the stories I write – almost like you are there, seeing what I do. I thank you for that! πŸ™‚
      I miss you and hope to talk to you soon ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi J! Thank you so much!
      I figured, realistically, we hardly ever (except for the lucky ones) find our love at first try but, on our way down that path – we do meet those who affect us deeply. I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Like

  10. Beautiful…and one walks away wistful,happy,smiling. How beaurifully you have tied the 17 year old Arnav love life to the 28 year old.

    First love a sweet memory..neither the right time or her for him to jump off the cliff…but a pleasant and happy relation ..leaves an impression …for him to recgonize and holdon to his soulmate.
    And the conversation with Khushi was cute.

    Like

    • thank you so much! Isn’t it strange how we are this inherently different person from when we were 17? I keep on thinking of myself as that 17 years old, and I can’t recognize who I was then! Figures Arnav would go through that too. Thank you so much for liking what I wrote πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Happy New Year!!
    Wonderful shot.. loved it.. Arnav’s possessive side can’t even think of Khushi having her seventeen moment.. even though he wishes for it.. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Haha! I wonder if he would dislike it, or if he would laugh it off. I’m torn between the two extremes. I hope it would be the latter. That’d make me like him more. Maybe I need to write about her 16 moment πŸ˜‰

      Like

  12. Wishing you a very happy new year!
    I was very excited when I saw that you started writing again. It gave me the pleasurable shivers of anticipation that I would be treated with some great works. You are one of the rarest author who could tell a whole story in a single shot. I look forward to your updates eagerly.
    Is there any possibility of continuing The Games We Play and the Shades of Grey?
    Much love
    Chardonnay

    Like

    • What a lovely thing to say Chardonnay! (Also, you are my favorite kind of wine to drink, so haaay!)

      I only write one-shots, since I don’t have the time to write much else these days 😦 Thank you so much for reading, and keeping up with their stories. ❀

      Like

  13. A very Happy New Year to you. I loved this OS. I love the way you portray your Arnav. There’s a plausibility about your stories that really draws me in. Like this one, for instance. While we saw ASR on screen and a little of his flashback, this little slice of life could have very well happened. I absolutely admire the way you write, so evocatively and so in keeping with their characters. Looking forward to more from you.

    Like

    • K! What a lovely thing to say! I guess, the older I get, love in little things makes more sense than the grandiose. It’s strange. I was all for the grand gestures when I was younger. See how age affects people? πŸ˜› Guess it isn’t just Arnav. Thank you for saying such wonderful things. It truly means a lot to me.

      Like

  14. Happy New Year to you, dear N.

    This OS was so beautiful. It has been some time since I last read anything by you, reminded me why I love your writing. It’s simply magical and beautifully poetic with feelings weaved in to charm us.

    Keep writing to mesmerize.

    Like

  15. Hi
    This is the first time, I am commenting your work. A few days back, I came to know about your work. All your OS are really awesome. The flow with which you have narrated, the story behind each OS .. no words to express ..great.. it is really pleasure to read all your OS.

    Like

    • hi!
      I am so glad you found my work. Thank you so much for your lovely compliment, too! It’s always glad to make new friends. Please do keep reading. I don’t update as often as I used to (That means maybe once every ten days, now) but I do try to write still. best wishes.

      Like

  16. I haven’t myself experienced this 17 year old love but the way u have written this beautiful story, I want to go back in time and experience it myself, such is a power of your pen. Just love u for writing such amazingly gorgeous stories.

    Ps: plz plz pretty plz finish gwp.

    Like

    • Farheen, thank you so much! That is awesome that I could make you feel like that! πŸ˜›
      It is lovely and amazing that you would say that and I really appreciate it, and that you always take time to read and respond to my stories.
      I will be honest – i will finish GWP but, unlike an OS, which takes no more than an hour to finish, GWP for me takes time – mostly because I am suffering from a damn writer’s block there. I will finish it. I haven’t abandoned it. Thank you so much for caring.

      Like

    • KBS! Heyyyy girl! πŸ™‚ Welcome!
      Thank you so much for taking the trouble and for reading it! Then, taking the time to comment here. Loads of love.

      Like

  17. Just jaw droppingly beautiful. Arnav reminiscing his almost love, and how he had wanted that elusive something. The something that only his Khushi could do, there was no thinking his heart found its other half

    Like

    • Hahahah! Arnav is a little like me here – I mean, I was reminiscing about my almost love at 17 and that’s where the story came from. Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I love how you can write about Arnav’s thoughts and feelings and still keep his personality (as I imagine it anyway). It’s probably hard to write a romantic Arnav while still keeping his edge, but you do it beautifully!

    Like

    • M! Hahahah! Because that is how I imagine him to be, as well! Thank you so much for seeing him as I do too! Also, thank you for reading. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t want to write πŸ™‚

      Like

  19. All your os are beautiful , but some are my favorites like bloom,will you still love me tom,or Renaissance eyes, for me your ARNAV/ASR has replaced the show ‘s arnav/sobti, infact the latter has become just a face to put to your many layered passionate intense mouthwatering Arnav.
    do you really think khushi was unintelligent or does she posses an intelligence which was diffrent from the normal understanding of the term. to me she has a clarity of vision ,she marches through life , to her own beat of the drum .
    love your taste in music & references to art .
    carry on writing girl

    Liked by 1 person

    • S, that is such a wonderful thing to say! I can’t say just how overwhelmed I am reading this comment. I don’t think Khushi is unintelligent at all. She’s a little… fey? So yes. Just marches through life at her own beat.I wish I could be like her. I’m glad you like my music and the things I write about. I think we will be friends πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • hey Nabila since we are friends can I pester you for an OS , its been a while , i know a chapter to GWP
        maybe pushing it .The thing is , when i read even a small piece by you it makes me smile

        Like

  20. Hey there,
    It’s absolute pleasure to have discovered your blog…I used to read your stories in IF…and to read it again here, it makes me so happy…
    You bring out something extra-ordinary from your writing…
    Do continue…Looking forward to more from you..
    πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Hi you! I’m sorry I was very busy for a few weeks so I haven’t been able to reply to your lovely message. Thank you so much! Please, do keep reading and, if you can, do keep in touch!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. As you can probably see from the pingback above, I loved this OS so damn much, it inspired me to write one! I can’t say this enough, B. Your stories have a way of transporting me to a place that is wonderfully magical. You write of moments, and you capture their essence so well, that it leaves my heart happy everytime I read one of your OSs. This one was no different.

    Ah, young love. I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love, but this certainly took me back to all the silly crushes I had as a kid.

    Write more!

    Love,
    Ridz

    Like

    • As you can see, I am super, super overwhelmed, and a little teary from that ping back. Our fandom just depends on love, and support. I’m very glad I have friends like you supporting what I write. Also, young love is awesome! They rarely last, but, man what a ride while you’re at it πŸ™‚
      I wish you a love like young love, but, one that lasts forever.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Hello friend
    I am here because of Bluemystique (Ridz).first of thanks to her because of which I could read this wonderful story,
    Very beautifully written, u made me think dear.
    Beautiful thought.
    Thank u

    Jusr4this from IF.
    This is my first comment on any of ur story.
    I am want thank u for all the beautiful u have written, which I read after u finished them, I was late in catching up.
    Happy New year to u and to ur loved ones.

    Thank u

    Like

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